I am not able to freely express myself( as society pretends) because some ignorant motherfuckers, if the truth be told, cannot( or choose not to) see real emotion even when in plain sight, how much more obvious will it take for people like that to pay attention?
I hid amongst the stars, and yet I could see no light. The surface of where I found myself had no substance. An accident was what I discovered.
The present day finds me no closer to understanding life. There are many ideas, I grant you that…
…I trailed off on purpose (but of course you knew that) – The short version, no matter what anyone believes, as long as it harms none, is worthy of equal respect.
… How many times have I reached this point in my life? How much deeper can I go? So many questions, questions which seem to have no answer, yet there obviously is one, I just have to search for it.
‘…To elucidate is so to realise feelings.’
That was all they said,but that was simply not clear enough.By that I do mean something is missing,it would seem I have to (or any other reader has to do so) fill in the ‘gaps’ to mine/our satisfaction.
Eluminate would be more my personal choice of word for that statement.But,on reflection,I am not so sure now,something is still missing.What about ‘To elucidate emotions is so as to realise the depth of one’s feelings.’ What do you think? The point I (in a roundabout way)I am driving at,is that every single individual views that sentence (or any for that matter)in their own way.
The matter mentioned of above does not necessarily have to be taken as literal of course. It could therefore, using that principle, be applied to any subject that you wish, think about that if you will, the possibilities are as endless as your imagination will allow. Thankyou for taking the time to read this.
…Another beautiful blonde came into my life!-She was astounding!-How lucky was I to even be in her presence.
Is it fate?I should explain,some years ago,I split up with a blonde,to this day I will never know who is more hurt.
I must confess,I wanted to die,I loved her so much,an album (bizarrely)saved me.An album by Linkin Park -Minutes to midnight,that album (along with another which created a dichotomy)’talked’ me out of ending my life.What began (the albums I mean) as representing love,ended in a feeling of agony,which never truly left.Wherever She is (out of respect I will not name her)I will always love her,but I wish her all the best whatever She does in life.
The above relates to the girl from 2009.
As to the other girl,She could have been from yesterday (2017)-In short,I mean no disrespect,love and respect yourselves girls,you are all special.
Imagination never let my heart be free,so I may never know how that feels.caught in a ‘menagerie’ of indifference,that is how I find myself,in a state of unreality,if you like.In short,there is too much pain and anguish in this heart,dissect me,my flaws,my frailty,take away.
…As I sat down,just sat,thinking about life,I realized I had nothing more to write.What was I to do? I carried on in my musings,so many hours had passed this way I tell you!I must stress I say that in all honesty,you must believe me.I expect you do,I am just worrying over nothing.Please tell me,why does this internal dialogue never cease? Of course it is because I am alive and conscious,but the ‘voices’ in my head never stop,I know I must return [endlessly]to the place where I must,yet I will never forget,I cannot say anymore…
Why does an empty vessel stand before my eyes?I should have said ‘present itself’ but did not,I know not why-My only thoughts on this (the reason)are this:that they were the only words that came to me,thus they were the words that spilled onto the page.Are thoughts incorrect?I personally do not believe so,it is(I feel) an aid to the conscious decisions all of us make,in short,where would we all be without that internal dialogue that breeds thought…
…If you will,please think about that(at the least) thankyou.
‘..If I were to see every aspect,each subtly and nuance of everything,in short,if I were all seeing,I would have the answers to everything.I must stress,in all honesty,I do not.That fact might be quite plain to me,quite obvious,if you will,why is this ‘simple’ fact admitted?-The answer,I’m afraid,is simple,this applies to whose disposition compels them with the want for control,rules those individuals who would oppress another for their own gain,choose to obey.’
‘The facts are what they are,it is therefore up to an individual to decide what course we shall take.’